Accident

I never realised that it could hurt so
As I stand here
In the middle of the road
Outside your house
Wondering whether I should enter it
Even as I see her leave it,
Should I scream my pain
Or should I just pass-by
I put my hands to my eyes, they are dry, how can that be?

I come closer as you bid her bye
And I hear words, which once meant so much
Now repeated to someone else
And I realise, that that was all they were
Words
So devoid of emotion and feelings
And I wonder, am I dead
Why do the tears not come?

You look up as I finally reach you
And shrug and continue to talk to her
As she stares at me
Looking as if I were a ghost
I wish I were invisible,
For I know now I have been replaced
And the tears still do not come, Why?

You tell me you are going out for dinner now
And that I was but a passing fancy
An "accident", you tell me
And I want to clap my hands on my ears
As it rings through
And the tears, what is wrong with my eyes
That they do not let me cry my sorrow?

I turn and walk away, why do my legs drag so?
I look back, you are walking towards our coffee-shop now
And you are smiling, and I smile automatically,
And then realise you have forgotten me
The passers-by wonder why there is a girl
On the road at this time,
Walking like she will fall soon,
Eyes starry bright and dilated, why do they make them pause in their step?

Some ask me if I am alright
And I smile and nod, I am fine
Some ask me if I want a drink
And I shake my head, why does it feel so light?
My friend sees me and starts a conversation
Why do the words not make any sense?
"I had an accident", I state when asked what is wrong
"I had an accident," I repeat
Why is everything so blurred now? And why does it hurt so?