On husband-hunting

"Oh this Kumar is really good", you enthuse
Even as I look at his picture and muse
If his bald head is worse than his fashion sense,
And you shake your head at what words you call nonsense!
Raj is dashing and debonair, you say
Even as I stare at this profile in dismay
"I am a hardworking person",is what he seems to love to type
"I am looking for one who's domestically trained", what tripe!!
"I am no dog!", I scream and shout
And you ask me what the fuss is all about.
"Siva is devout and pious
And is not a little bit ambitious",
I ask why having no ambition is good
And you say, "He will never be in a bad mood,
He is no go-getter, he will never be stressed,
He will not expect much and will never get vexed",
I shake my head in mute agony, do I laugh or do I cry?
Even as relatives drop in, time-to-time, to poke and pry
"Why do you say no to them all?
Are you seeing someone whom you want to marry this fall?
You are turning them all down citing age, looks, profession
What do you have against an elementary education?
He is an Iyer, and Tamil to boot,
What more can you want? A royal suit??"

You now have given me a month's time
To make up my mind, or you say, my preference will not be worth a dime
"Select someone soon or else..", is the threat you make
And my protests are ignored, when they fall in your wake
I scream and shout, "How can I tell you if I want to marry him
By just looking at the website and deciding on a whim?"
But that makes no difference to you as you shrug
And I am down on my knees, pouding at the rug,
How can I tell you that I no longer have the time
To stop and gaze at the stormy sky, or gaze in wonder at shrubs of rosemary and thyme
To skip along the road or to run on the grass,
You would only tell me to stop being an ass
To go out there and start hunting
And to stop all this ridiculous shunting,
Watch out, guys! I am now on the prowl, a husband-hunter
And I do not intend to lose this bet to any punter!!!
Watch this space with glee, even as I now run out into the world
And select and prune and gild my prey and will, one day, to my family unfurl!!!